Ohhhh the apologies I owe. The worship I should have paid and thanks I should have given. I took advantage of you and never truly appreciated you for all that you did. You helped open doors, secured an unsolicited free drink or two and even gathered a few random compliments along the way.
You let me run for longer distances and life heavy weights (my son’s giant head not included). You let me drink whiskey by the glass and not the sip. You let me skip eye cream and face washing occasionally when I was too tired. Now, having a glass of whiskey spells immediate doom the next day and an immediate nap immediately and no eye cream puts me in the same category as Javier Bardem.
But alas, you are gone now. My pre-baby body is gone. In its place is this sort of stunt double that kind of looks like, but isn’t quite, right. You have the hair and height and same basic shape, but everything else is juuust a little off.
My post baby body now cracks in weird places and has marks it didn’t before. I mean sure, it helped get my son into this world. It helped give me the greatest little boy I could never have imagined. And of course, it fed him for 30 days and nights. I mean all of that is remarkable…….
But man I miss my abs.