I was talking at work about how unattractive my PJ’s are these days. I mean we are talking a mix of sweatpants from high school (making them 22 years old), a Marquette sweatshirt that my eldest brother purchased for me when I was in 8th grade and t-shirts I have worn on and off for the past 20 or so years. During this discussion, my friend, a single mother of two, declared, “welcome to being a mom”
I came home from work yesterday and our nanny, Carolina, asked what I had on the boob of my shirt. I had no idea whatsoever and simply said, “I don’t know I have a six month old”
I have had spit up, pee and poop on me almost every day since Ben was born. In fact when he was born the first thing he did was poop all over me. It didn’t even phase me. I barely noticed until the nurses took him off of me to go clean him (and me) up. One of the first things I hear when I tell other Mom’s this story is “welcome to motherhood”
Being a mom, especially a new mom, means that things you previously took for granted fall very far by the wayside. Like a lost french fry in between the seats of your car, wayside. Roots grow longer, shirts stay unwashed for longer, nails chip, beds remain unmade and floor unvacuumed. Why? Motherhood.
You re-prioritize everything in your life. Some mom’s may look like they are always pulled together, but I almost guarantee you their laundry isn’t done and they do not care if their underwear is on inside out. Some mom’s may look like they have found the perfect balance of work and family, but I promise you they go home at night and struggle with their mental check list of making sure they got everything done for their family AND their work and haven’t let everyone down in the meantime.
Today, I found myself in the grocery store and saw a new mom in the store, all 6 feet, 100 lbs of her and instantly felt bad about myself. One of the things I have not been able to figure out how to reintroduce into my life is working out. But then I reminded myself; I have no idea what this woman’s story is or where she is coming from. She could be looking at me thinking “Man, that woman got to have a lunch, unaccompanied by a baby, and has definitely showered today.”
Because caring for our babies, whether they be big or small, becomes number one above everything else. Most of us struggle with finding a reasonable balance of caring for ourselves, mainly to prevent slowly turning into real life mug shot, and making sure our children always know they are loved, safe, and that we have their backs. When my son is a grown man, if he should turn to me at any point and say that he always felt that way growing up, I will know that all of the sacrifice, the lack of sleep,the missed hair appointments, the canceled eyebrow waxings, and the chronic insomnia will have been well worth it. Because…That is Motherhood.
(ACTUAL PHOTO OF ME IN THE MORNING)